The Promise
by TheVanishingMirage
Summary: Shaoran goes back to Hong Kong where Meilin waits forever for him, holding on to the promise that he made all those many years ago.
1. Memories

**Author's note: _My first fanfic ever! Please be gentle with me. This is a Meilin/Shaoran fic. It would probably be about unrequited love, but who knows, I might change my mind. _**

**_A big thank you to John (Yes! Thanks!) who is probably out there lurking…Not reviewing…Doesn't even have an account…Anyways, thank you, John for making me write and for giving me the courage to do it! Btw, I don't expect a review from you, but would it be so wrong to hope that you'd come to your senses and leave a review? Another thanks to my dear, beloved Icedfirestar for being so excited about this, you helped me become better. Talking to you is a learning process in itself. Thank you for doing the beta-reading. Read her stories, they are great!_**

**_And to anyone who even bothers to finish reading this, thanks in advance. It would definitely make a girl happy if you do review. Thank you! I hope you will like the story. :)_**

**Disclaimer: _Card Captor Sakura does not belong to me; neither does any of the characters the characters in that story, this fanfic, however, is mine. :P_**

Chapter 1

It had been years since Meilin Li left Japan to go back home to Hong Kong. She didn't want to go back, but her mother had made her. All she wanted was to be with her beloved – the mysterious, quiet, strong, and aloof Li Shaoran. It seemed to her that was all she was destined for was to become Shaoran's wife, and she had no complaints, for that was all she wanted to be. She had been by his side for all the time she could remember, and her feelings for him had blossomed from mere reliance and awe to deep real love. What was it exactly that drew her to him, even she doesn't know. Maybe it was because of that fact that he always seemed sad…unfeeling. She wanted to change him, make him feel - feel the happiness that she felt every time she was with him, every time he was around - make him smile, make him happy…

She realized that she was naïve for thinking that. She could never change him. She could never make him feel what she felt. She could never make him love her back. It hurt her badly thinking all these years, yet she was still holding on, hoping that one day he would realize how much she loved him and how much of herself she had given unto him. It seemed ironic that Li has changed her, and not the other way around. The cheerful, energetic, confident Meilin everybody once knew had long been gone. In her place, a quiet, brooding, sad young woman had taken over. Everybody had noticed, even herself, she knew she was becoming more and more like him everyday, and as much as she hated it, she couldn't stop it.

Nowadays, she spent most of her time sitting by the window, thinking. She hadn't been out with her friends much lately. Being with those girls had become quite taxing; she didn't want to pretend she was happy anymore, and she didn't want to bring them down…she didn't want to bother them with her pitiful worries.

"Rrrrriiiiiiinnnngggg..." On and on went the phone. She didn't want to answer it. She didn't want to talk to anyone right now. It had been going on for quite a while, and she couldn't help but think it was something important.

"Sheesh...Okay, okay, I'll get it. If only I wasn't home alone today. Ugh!" She muttered under her breath, quite irritated. One of the things she hated most was being disturbed in the middle of her deep broodings.

"Hmmmm...Hello?" She tried to sound patiently. _God! I'd die if this is one of my friends who just wants to gossip and talk about things I'm not even a part of, she thought._

"Uhhh..." Her eyes rounded in recognition, "W-Wei?" She stuttered in confusion. _Why would Wei be calling me? I was always the one calling them, why is this happening now? Oh, can it be? Has something bad happened to Shoaran?_ Meilin was getting worried.

"Yes, Miss Meilin, it is indeed I. Can I talk to your parents?"

"They're not around at the moment, Wei. Can I take your message?"

"Oh well…It shouldn't too much of a secret…Please tell your parents that we are coming home, a week from now."

"Oh…Yes. I will tell them."

"Thank you, Miss Meilin. I will try to call some other time and see if I could talk to them, but it would be more of a relief of they could make time to call us in here. Once again, thank you."

"It isn't a problem at all."

They said their goodbyes and hung up. The implications of that phone call were just starting to settle in. She replaced the phone in its receiver gently.

Shaoran was going home...

_Finally going back to Hong Kong, but what is waiting for me there? My parents died some few years back. I'm an orphan. That doesn't change much, though, does it? They were never really there for me. They were just fixtures, there on the background, watching over my life, yet they never got involved in it. They were just observing. _

Thoughts ran through Shaoran's mind, as the time to go back to his birthplace grew closer. As always he didn't feel anything, just the acceptance of things going this way. His greatest gift, his magic, hadn't gone to use lately. Ever since all the cards were captured and the magical beings all laid to rest, there was no use for magic. He just stayed in Japan to finish school, and because he could stay. It was as simple as that. It wasn't the complexities of love that urged him to settle there. He didn't feel anything for anybody, well at the moment at least. Certainly, before, there was some sort of strange feeling budding for that Cardcaptor girl, Sakura. He must admit, it could have become something, but he ran away. They were too young, and he felt as though he just couldn't be bothered with those feelings during that time. He always thought love made men weak, and he didn't want to be weak, there might be something that would need him to be strong. So he moved, moved away into another city, another school, went out with girls, had a few flings, but never got into serious relationships. Somehow he just didn't want to get involved with anyone.

"I have called your aunt and uncle in Hong Kong, Master Li. I have informed them of our arrival for the upcoming week."

"Oh, okay, Wei."

_So that's whom Wei was talking to on the phone, eh? Aunt and Uncle, of course, they will be there, and Meilin. Yes, she certainly will be there. Ah! Meilin who calls once in a while checking on me, reminding me that she will be my wife. Oh wait, she stopped doing that a while ago. I wonder if she finally realized how childish that thought was. She probably has a boyfriend now. Hmmm... Oh well, she was an okay girl. If only she didn't pounce on me that often. She's probably all grown up now._

_Oh well, I guess going back home wouldn't be too bad after all..._


	2. The Homecoming

**Author's note: _Thank you to both my dear Icedfirestar, and Dark Qiviut (interesting username, I might add :)) for the review of the previous chapter…Again, credits to the lovely Icedfirestar for doing the beta reading, whatever will I do without you:P_ **

**_Feedback of any sort would be greatly appreciated. Thank you (Subtle hint for: Please review! :D)_**

**Disclaimer: _I do not own Card Captor Sakura or any characters of the said Anime. This fanfic, however, is mine! Oh mine! All mine! Mwahahahahaha! Mine, mine, mine! Okay, I'll stop that now…_**

**Chapter 2**

_Well this is it. I can finally see him again. After such a long, long time._ Meilin thought as she waited in the airport, she grew anxious as every minute passed while the plane still hadn't arrived. She glanced at her watch, stared as seconds ticked by.

"Mama, I think I'll go take a walk for a while." She couldn't take it anymore. She had to get out. She would have gone crazy sitting there, waiting, waiting, waiting…

* * *

Li glimpsed at the landscape unfolding below him. He could see a lot from above. Up there all the intimidating figures you see below seemed to be much meager, everything seemed so small, so insignificant. Landmasses turned into blue seascapes, and then back again into landmasses, until the gigantic skyscrapers of Hong Kong finally came into view. It seemed so much had changed since he left. He hadn't been home in such a long time. Something struck him – he missed being home...

* * *

The roaring of the plane awakened her from her deepest thoughts. The moment she had been waiting for had finally arrived. He was back.

She quickly rushed into the waiting area. She ran as fast as her legs could carry her. She wanted to see him so much. She was mindless of everything else. Everyone didn't exist. She was in her own little world, feeling as though she was running in a void, with only one clear destination in mind...

Before she knew it, she was there, staring at the one she loved. There he stood, talking to her parents, hugging them, hearing heartfelt words of welcome. He didn't see her just yet. The most expected scenario would have been her, running at full speed, and then throwing her self at him, shouting at the same time, "Shaaaaaaooooooorrrraaaaaaaannnn!" But no, that never happened. She couldn't find it in herself anymore. She didn't know what to do anymore. She was cemented on the spot; and all she could do was stare.

"Meilin, come and greet your cousin," those words came from nowhere, or at least she thought. Her bubble burst, and then she realized it was her father. She walked slowly towards him, afraid to take a misstep, afraid to make a wrong move. It was awkward, so very awkward.

It was only then that he noticed her, that demure, poised, beautiful, girl, slowly making her way towards him. She was so grown up now, and if her father hadn't called her by her name, he wouldn't have believed it was her. She still looked the same; her hair was still straight and black, only without the Chinese buns, yet there was something about her; she seemed so different. He braced himself, waiting for that inevitable pounce, but it never came, instead...

"Sh-Shaoran...Welcome home," and with that, she bowed her head low.

"Thank you, Meilin. It is nice to be back." He smiled at her yet he could feel the coldness emanating from inside her. The edges of her mouth moved up in what would resemble a smile.

"Well, come on kids, we should get going now so that Wei and Shaoran could get some rest," called out the all too familiar voice of her mother, and with that they sped off into the outskirts of Hong Kong where the Li Mansion stood imposing.

* * *

On the drive home, both of them were dazed, confused.

"Is there something wrong, Master Li?" Asked the all too concerned Wei.

"Huh? Oh no... I'm probably just tired from the flight, that's all; don't bother yourself too much about it."

"If you say so, Master Li."

_Hmmmm...What is wrong with her? She has changed so much. I can feel it. What has happened when I was gone? She never told me anything on the phone, but then her calls have become more seldom lately. This is uncanny..._

He looked back at her. She seemed lost as well. Things have become weird; very, very weird, indeed.

_

* * *

_

_I don't understand. Why am I not happy? He is here, he is back, and yet I am not. I can even say I am sad. Why is it so? This is all so confusing, so complex. I don't know what to do. I want to run, but I know I can't, and why should I? This is what I have been waiting for, and yet I feel so odd. _

"Meilin dear, is everything quite all right?" She looked up into her mother's furrowed expression.

"Yes, mother, I am fine. I was just thinking of some things I have to do before school starts again. I know that's quite a long way to go still, seeing as the summer break has just started, but I want to get ahead of things. You know me, I tend to be obsessive-compulsive at times" She gave a half-hearted chuckle trying to put her mother at ease.

"Well dear, you know you could always talk to me about stuff."

"Oh, of course, I do, Mama."

"Are you sure you don't want to talk about anything?"

"Oh psssch! Mama, don't mind me. You know I get aloof at times. It's just normal. I will be okay."

"Mmmmhmmm..."

She flashed a smile, it seemed almost genuine, and to those who didn't know her very well, it would seem so, but her mother knew her better, and realized all was not well...

**

* * *

**

**Li Mansion**

"Shaoran, I have readied the guestroom for you. You should find it quite comfortable now."

"Thank you, Auntie."

He still remembered this house well. He knew exactly where to go. He spent a lot of time staying in there back when he was still a kid. His parents used to drop him off every time they were going somewhere. They never took him with them.

On the way, he spotted a familiar figure standing in the patio.

"Meilin-chan."

Slowly she turned, aware of who it was.

"Shaoran." She acknowledged.

He approached her, not quite sure what to say.

"I've missed you." As soon as the words were at of his mouth, he became conscious of the fact that that was true. He never realized until now. Something went missing the moment she got on that plane home so many years past.

Tears welled up in her eyes. "So have I." She couldn't help it anymore. She threw herself at him, and cried her eyes out. "Shaoran, I've missed you so, so much." Then she whispered, "And I have never stopped loving you..."


	3. Bonding

**_Disclaimer_: It was not me who made this series which has addicted millions of viewers worldwide. No, do not blame me. That is a very bad thing to do…**

**_Author's Note_: To my lovely reviewers, namely, Dark Qiviut (glad you liked the surprise, and thank you for the props :)) and my mother, Icedfirestar (Not really my mum….How is daddy James, mother? rotfl)**

**Chapter 3**

"...And I have never stopped loving you..."

Those words kept playing over and over inside Shaoran's mind.

_What the heck! Surely, she still can't be living that nonsense about getting married to me. I mean, after all these years, you would think she has learned that it can never be. I don't feel those things for her. Yeah, I love her, but as a cousin and as a friend only. Why can't she see that?_

As he stared at the ceiling of the guestroom, he looked back at how he broke away from her embrace, tried to smile, and found a way of escape by saying, "I guess I'll see you later," and it has been a few hours now. He had finished unpacking his clothes and all the things he had brought with him. Things were going quite okay...Well, except for the thing with Meilin.

_Oh well, stop thinking about that. You'll never understand how her minds works and maybe she meant it in a platonic way, too...No use in me thinking it over; I can never make anything of it._

* * *

She paced back and forth in her room, tried to make sense of stuff happening, hoped to ease the embarrassment caused by her actions. 

_Ugh! I never should have said that! What is wrong with me! "And I have never stopped loving you!" What kind of sick torture is that! Why can't I just settle for, "I missed you, too?" Ugh! Stop it! Stop it! You can't do anything now! What is the point of saying that anyways? Are you expecting him to say that he loved you back? Hah! You never learn do you? Magic charms and good luck cards never worked, what makes you think that words will? You need to get over yourself and stop this masochism! You don't need to hurt this much. Nobody deserves this, especially not you! Hmmmmm...So ironic, you decide to get over the man of your dreams now that he's finally here! You're crazy! Wait, get over him? No...You can't! At least he's here; at least now you can work on making him falling in love with you...Okay...You need to calm down now._

Then she flopped hard on her bed.

**

* * *

**

**The next day...**

"Hello," Meilin quietly whispered.

Shaoran paused, looked at her, and said, "Good Morning."

They were in the large garden of the mansion. A myriad of colors filled the surroundings as flowers bloomed in the morning sunlight. It was going to be a beautiful day; the birds were chirping, and not a cloud was in sight.

Meilin took a deep breath of fresh air. _The garden never looked this beautiful, this divine...Have I been blind to all these before, or is it just Shaoran's presence that makes everything so lively? _

She stared at the love of her life. He had gone back to skipping stones in the pristine river that spans the vast estate. He was so calm. _Has he forgotten the things I said last night? _She gazed as the smooth stone bobbed up and down in the clear water. He was an excellent stone skipper. _Or is it that he just doesn't care?_

_

* * *

_

_This is awkward... Why is she just standing there? What does she want? Can't she leave me alone for one second? I need to think, and she's making it difficult. Gah! How can I tell her to stop living in that fantasy of hers? I don't want to hurt her, but I have to...Hmmm...Or do I? Maybe I should just let her realize it on her own. She is a smart girl, she can figure it out on her own. At least that would be better than breaking her heart. It would certainly save him a lot of guilt._

He got back to what he was doing before she came, skipping stones, of course. He always found solace in throwing those stones into the water and seeing them come up and down the surface. For him it was some sort of weird stress therapy. It helped him zone out and focus; recharge his energies, his powers. Also, it helped him escape from the things he wished to get away from, even for just a while. As far as he was concerned he wanted to get away from Meilin and all these odd feelings she stirred deep within him, unfortunately, it seemed as though he couldn't.

He got another stone, flicked his wrist, and released it swiftly, then smirked as he got the desired effect. The stone skipped all the way to the other side of the river.

He couldn't take the silence anymore. He wished she would just go away. He would have screamed if she hadn't said, "You're really good at skipping stones. I wish I can do that. Maybe if you teach me I'll be as good as you are. Will you teach me?"

"Uh...Yeah, sure...Of course," he didn't want to say no, as much as he wanted her gone, he just couldn't hurt her feelings. He saw how lonely she had become, even before never wanted to see her sad. He didn't want to upset her. "We have to go get some stones first though. Come on."

He led her on, telling her which stones to pick, and which ones to discard. He knew quite a lot, apparently.

"Okay, stand like this," Shaoran showed her the proper way of standing. "It's mostly in the arm action..." On and on he went about the basics and all that stuff. "That's mostly it. Let's see you do it."

"Oh...Yes, of course," she smiled demurely, hoping that he hadn't noticed her staring at him like an idiot all that time he was talking. She desperately hoped she got something of what he was blabbing about. _Oh dear, what was he saying again? Okay, okay, calm down. Just do what he was doing a while ago. Here goes nothing..._

She convincingly mimicked his motion. She did well in her first try. Shaoran was impressed.

"You're a natural," he told her as he smiled.

"Thanks," and then she broke out into a genuine smile. "I think I'm going to challenge you," her usual confidence was back.

He gave out a snort of disbelief, "You're smug!"

"Afraid of a little beginner's luck?" She teased him.

He raised his brow, and said, "Bring it on."

He actually felt quite excited. For the first time in his entire life, he had a chance to act like a kid. _Hey, this is fun...Hahahaha...Having her around wasn't so bad after all. Even her cockiness isn't that irritating anymore. Hmmmm...I don't want this happy Meilin to disappear...I can't hurt her now, not when she's this happy again._

And she was happy, too. You could see it in her eyes. The sparkle that had been extinguished was back, and it was as lively as ever. Shaoran watched her throw the rocks, it seemed like she was having fun as well.

He tossed a stone and it skipped an amazing ten times.

She sighed, "Okay, you win," but she was smiling, and she was having fun.

He chuckled, "There's a trick, actually, the stone skips a lot more when you chuck it at a 20˚ angle with the surface of the water," and with that, he winked.

_Did I just see Shaoran wink? Wow, I never thought he'd ever do that,_ Meilin thought.

"This has been fun," Meilin thought a loud.

"Yeah."

"I hope we can do this some other time again," she stared at the sky, her eyes were glazed over. "It's such a beautiful day." Suddenly, she came back to her senses again, "Oh! I have to go. I forgot, I have to help a friend with some chores...I better go before I become too late," and with that she rushed off.

He looked at her as she ran away from him. He was speechless. She went too fast for him to say goodbye, and then there was the fact that she just absolutely looked stunning. _Now how did Meilin become so pretty while I wasn't looking? _Shaoran thought as Meilin turned around quickly for a wave. He could barely raise his hand up to acknowledge it, and then she was off again...

Then Shaoran thought, _What is this strange feeling? I'm acting all weird, and stuff..._

**Oooooo….Can it be love this time:P Actually, the real reason I'm leaving this comment here at the end is to kinda tell everyone not to expect an update any time soon…I'm sorry, but I just feel like nothing's coming to me anymore, the creative juices has gone dry (Yeah, laugh about the juices, Ice :P)…So, I'll be on vacation….Gone to find my muse…And hopefully I can finally decide the outcome of this fic…Maybe not…I'm not sure If I'll be back though…So maybe this is goodbye as well…But, I still don't really know…I guess I'll just see you all around then… **


	4. Shaoran's Thoughts

**_Disclaimer: _I OWN CARDCAPTOR SAKURA! **

cue for secret agents to barge into my secret hideout and take me into a maximum security 24-hour lock-down facility in the middle of nowhere

**Okay, okay, I don't own it! Happy now?**

**_Author's note: _Hello everyone! After like an eternity of silence from yours truly I have finally gotten into my senses and made an ending for this fic. It might seem quite rushed and the story really undeveloped, and I'm sorry for that, but by the time that I told myself that I'd update I have totally lost track of what I wanted to happen next. Sowwy…**

**P.S.**

**Thank you, _Aimee_, for your review after like forever of my fic gathering dust in the archives of you don't know how much better the email notification in my account made me feel at such a dark point in my life. It was heaven to realize that something I made was remembered. You inspired me to finish this story.**

**_Ai-Kusabana_, thank you for reviewing, too! I'm glad you did because it just pushed me to finish this all, I was so happy to be remembered by two people nonetheless, two! Imagine that! TWO! Thank you! Although what's happening in this chapter would seem quite unusual for you.**

**_Dark Qiviut_, no need for apologies on your tardiness, and I guess I should be the one who should apologize for MY extreme tardiness. As always, thank you for your wise words and kind reviews.**

**And last but not the least, _Icey_, I don't know if you'll still even read this or not, but…I've updated again. I hope you'll still tell me what you think.**

**Chapter 4**

He looked back at the clear pool of water which had just been witness to one of the most beautiful moments in his life, yet his mind was not in the present, he was wondering again.

_No, this is not love. This is loneliness. _

_Love was what I felt for Sakura. This feels nowhere near that. Maybe that wasn't love as well. I don't know what love is. I have might never loved. I probably never will love. This is what my life is. This is what my life will always probably be, this crippling loneliness that has torn me apart silently, little-by-little, making me this silent, unfeeling, brooding assassin. But who do I kill? I kill no one but myself. These deep waters will never drown me, and I will never drown myself in them. Ropes will not stop the breath of life that radiates from my lips, and I will never hang myself with them. Knives will never drain the blood that rushes through my pulse, and I will never sever the beat in my wrists that says I'm alive. I am dry and out of the waters, I am breathing, and the beat that is in my hands is strong and vibrant. No blood flows out of me, yet I'm drowning, I'm choking, I'm bleeding. I am slowly dying this silent death that does not leave me lifeless, it leaves me empty… empty and wanting. What is there to life when I'm not feeling? What worth is it to live everyday when I just retire to the full, and soft, and comfortable respite that I call my bed, and gaze up at the ceiling and feel nothing but the emptiness that is numbing me, knowing that tomorrow will just be the same? What makes life so hard to live all you need to do is live by the usual monotony or everyday and wait for the lulling reprieve of death? Life is not worth living anymore, is it? I feel like this and I know fully well that it is not my fault. I have let myself sink into the pits of this emotionless void, and I never tried to pull myself up back when I still could, now there's nowhere to go but deeper. Yet I'm starting to feel something, but it is not pleasant. I'm starting to feel pain._

_flashback_

"_Who do you love Li-kun?"_

"_I love no one."_

"_Promise me you'll marry me, Li-kun. Promise me that until you find someone you love, you'll be with me."_

"_Whatever."_

"_Say you promise it!"_

"_I promise…Now go play somewhere else."_

_end of flashback_

_Meilin-san…You have grown so much, yet I know that you're still you, and I know that you still love me, you have told me so, and it pains me to hurt you, although I will try my best never to. It kills me enough to ask why can't I love you? Why can I never feel the same way you do towards me? It pains me so to think that I might never love you, but keep this in mind Meilin, **I will keep my promise. **I can never love anyone. I will be with you forever…or even just the empty shell that I am._

**This might be the end, or it might not be, I still don't know, yet. What do you think?**


End file.
